Do Not Be Discouraged

I'm going to be honest and admit that this past week has been a bit disappointing for us.  We got our fingerprint appointment in the mail for immigration (yes this is the third fingerprinting and FBI background check we will have completed for this adoption) and it was much later than we were hoping for.  Sometimes, you are able to walk in early for fingerprint appointments and many people have had success doing this to speed up the process.  Josh and I were planning on using the kid's spring break week as a time to catch up on adoption paperwork (stray grant applications, getting the dossier ready to mail) and to walk in early for our fingerprint appointment and hopefully speed up the approval process.

And then the stomach flu hit.

As I was laying on the floor, cradling the toilet after throwing up for the umpteenth time, all I could think about was the fact that we were going to miss our chance to walk in early the next day.  That our dossier documents would continue to sit on our desk, waiting for us to take them to be overnighted for certification.  And heaven help us, how in the world would we survive illness like this with three kids?  When the kids get to complaining I always try to tell them to search for things to be thankful for and then to pray for the needs of others.  When we keep our minds on ourselves it is easy to get overwhelmed.

But I admit that I was feeling a little bit discouraged and self focused.

People with the same receipt date as us had walked in early for fingerprints and had been assigned officers, passing us by in the process.

Our dossier did not make it into the mail before the weekend.

We ran out of checks.

We could barely get off the couch.

And then a few days passed.  The sun was shining through our windows.  My Mom (recovering from her own stomach flu) dropped off snacks and much needed diapers.  Josh's Mom made sure that we were ok and offered to brave the flu if we needed her to help.  My wonderful in-laws surprised us with soup and cake on our doorstep at a time when I had just discovered there was nothing to eat for lunch.  Family and friends called to check up on us and ask if we needed anything.  We started feeling better and the kids started smiling and laughing again (by the way, Josh is an incredibly amazing and helpful husband and daddy, even when he's super sick!  If there was a vomit patrol award he would win it...He's. the. best.) We are incredibly blessed.

God used this moment of weakness and set backs to show us that there is nothing we can do on our own.  When I try to carry on in my own strength my body breaks down, my heart begins to get discouraged, I can start to lose hope.  But when I lean into God's strength I am reminded that I can relax.  I can rest in his grace.  He has it under control and it will all work out according to his purposes.

It is a beautiful day today.  We're a little bit behind with our paperwork chase, and we're not going to be on the fast track with our immigration approval.  The stomach flu was terrible and no, I don't ever want to deal with that again, much less with three kids.  But we will.  That's a fact!  We will see the stomach flu again.  We will most likely see a lot worse than the stomach flu, life is just like that. The stomach flu is small potatoes compared to what a lot of people are dealing with, right? Our adoption journey will continue to have bumps and delays, hopefully small, but who knows.  And yes, when I think about all the days that stand between now and holding Zachary sometimes it is so overwhelming it is hard to breathe.

But then I remember God's word from Joshua 1:9- Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."   

Do not be discouraged- your family and friends are praying for you.

Do not be discouraged- someone is bringing you a meal in your moment of weakness.

Do not be discouraged- every step of your adoption is perfectly timed.

God is with us, alive in us, strengthening and giving us courage for all that lies ahead.  What a promise!  Do not be discouraged.