HOME

I'll have to transfer all my FB posts of our time in China to the blog, but we are officially home with Zachary!

I loved the opportunity to see China and take in a bit of Zachary's culture.  We adored the authentic cuisine- oh noodle house how we miss you!  Zachary misses the congee every morning.  I was appreciative of the hospitality of the Chinese people.  Of the beauty of a country of billions somehow making it all look effortless.  I'll miss the friendships we made while in China- other families who just get it.  Who are walking the exact same road and somehow have immediate fellowship with eachother.

I will not miss being away from my other kids.  I will never be sad to wake up in America- so full of opportunity and freedom.  I will not miss the smell of cigarette smoke, pollution, and sewage in the air.  The dirtiness of the streets.  Perhaps that's par for the course in any big city...but it certainly made me grateful for NC.  We have it so good.  We are blessed and spoiled and so so fortunate to live in the abundance that we do.

I'll never be the same because of what I saw and heard.  I hope I never forget.  I hope I can do something with what I've been given, because it is honestly too much.

As for Zachary- he is doing well!  I'll be honest in saying that the reality of his delays did not hit us full force until we saw him.  You can know it in your head, but knowing it in your heart takes time.  

In many ways he is so much more than we imagined.  His smile is bigger, his laugh is sweeter, his hugs are perfect.  He is a lover.  We are completely smitten!

But he has also suffered so much from his medical conditions and life in an institution.  His body is stiff and weak. His head rolls around a bit when he's tired and his eyes can't always focus.  He doesn't understand much of what we say- I wonder how much he ever will.

And we love him.  We can't wait to see how our life unfolds with him in it.  Zachary Jude Yuanjin Brown has a forever home!  Thank you Lord for allowing us to be your hands and feet in this small way.  

Please Read - so important as we come home

Dear Family & Friends,  

After 12 months of waiting, praying, longing, hoping--- little Zachary is on his way home! We are overjoyed at God's grace, but we also realize this will be a season of adjustment for our family. We know that each of you reading this letter has-- in some way-- supported, loved and prayed for us. Because we know your care for Zachary and our family, we want to share with you some information that we hope will best equip everyone around him to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In many ways, Zachary will be like the children who entered our family through birth; we will seek to bring all of them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord. But there will be a few, initial differences in the way we have parented in the past. 

We are confident of this: God’s design is PERFECT! His plan for parents and children is a beautiful and meaningful picture of His love for us. Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need and communicates that need. The primary caretaker (usually mommy) meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent; the baby is hungry, cries in distress, mom nurses & calms the baby – which teaches her that this person is safe and can be trusted. By God’s very design, an emotional foundation is laid in the tiniest of babies, which will affect their learning, conscience, growth and future relationships. The security provided by parents will, ultimately, give children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process. The loss of a biological mother and father at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts. Zachary has experienced the loss of familiar and comforting caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of his birth country. When Zachary comes home, he will be overwhelmed. Everything around him will be new and he will need to learn not just about his new environment, but also about love and family. He has not experienced God’s design for a family having lived in an orphanage setting. His world is turned upside down. He may struggle with feeling safe and secure and he may lack the ability to trust that we will meet his needs. The good news is that we can now, as Zachary's parents and forever family, rebuild attachment and help him heal from these emotional wounds.

The best way for us to form a parent/child bond is to be the ones to hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed him. As this repeats between us, he will be able to learn that Mom and Dad are safe to trust and to love deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection. Once Zachary starts to establish this important bond, he will then be able to branch out to other, healthy relationships. Zachary will have, what may seem like, a lot of structure, boundaries and close proximity to us. Although it may appear that we are spoiling him at times, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. He may show his grief and confusion in many ways, and we are prepared to help him through it and prove that we are a forever family. You may also notice us tighten our circle a bit, stay close to home, and we may seem a little less available socially, for a while. Please know that these decisions are prayerfully and thoughtfully made choices based on our personal research and instruction from trusted adoption mentors. We will be doing what we believe is best to help him heal from those interruptions in attachment as effectively as possible. 

Why are we telling you all of this? Because you will actually play an awesome and vital role in helping our Zachary settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for the future. There are a few areas in which you can help us:

The first is to set physical boundaries. We cannot WAIT to see some of you at the airport when we arrive home!! Keep in mind...It will help us immensely if adults limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with Zachary  This will (for a while) include things like holding, hugging and kissing. Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone – which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents. Waving, blowing kisses or high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcomed! Zachary should know that the people with whom he interacts are our trusted family and friends. He is going to love each and every one of you!! :)

Another area is redirecting Zachary's desire to have his physical and emotional needs met by anyone (including strangers) to having us (Josh and I) meet those needs. Orphans often have so many caretakers that they, as a survival mechanism, become overly charming toward all adults. A child struggling to learn to attach may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their family unit. It may appear harmless and as if they are “very friendly” but this is actually something that isn’t good for the child. To share this is difficult for us because you have openly loved on our other children and we have loved on yours as well, and treasure that connection. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have Zachary hugged, cuddled and cherished by ALL of you. But until he has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct him to us if you see that he is seeking out food, affection or comfort.

Also, please feel free to ask us any questions at any time. We are learning too, and are grateful that you are seeking with us to help Zachary feel loved, safe, and secure. We are incredibly blessed to have so many loved ones around us. We couldn’t ask for a better extended family & circle of friends for our sweet boy.  Thank you so much for your love and support over the past year. We are truly blessed!

We look forward to seeing you all once we arrive home!!!

Blessings,

Josh and Rene 

Forever Family Day

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone- but still miraculously my own.

Don't forget for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart, but in it."

We love you forever, Zachary Jude Yuanjin Brown.

Mixed

My heart is filled with a mix of joy and despair tonight.

Two hours down the road in a town called Zhuhai, Zachary is spending his last night in an orphanage.

My heart leaps for joy at the thought that our precious boy will no longer sleep alone.  That he will always have someone to rock him and sing to him, give kisses, and pray over him as he falls asleep.  His future is full of love and hope.

But I am also filled with a deep sadness.  Because this is the last night that Zachary will spend in an orphanage, and that change is going to rock his little world.

In our adoption training they basically encouraged us to view "gotcha day" as similar to kidnapping.  At first that might seem harsh- we've prayed and waited so long, spent over a year on complicated paperwork, and flew half a world away to meet our son!  But...this is pretty much going to look like kidnapping to Zachary.

Two white people, whom he has never seen before and can not understand, will come in and take him back to a hotel never to return to the life he's always known.

An orphanage might be a cold and lonely place to live.  But it has been his home.

A few caring nannies can never give the kind of love and attention that a full time Mom and Dad can.  But this is who he loves.

And he doesn't know that there is redemption and hope and love ahead for him.  We pray that God will heal the broken places in his heart, that he will give Zachary peace and joy as he realizes  we are a family, but there is no guarantee.

The ony guarantee is that there will be grieving and fear and sadness tomorrow as Zachary comes to us.  And God will meet us there.  He will carry us through this and walk with us on a journey of healing and hope.

So tonight we are excited.  And nervous. And sad.  And joyful.  I guess you could say that's life.  

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." - John 10:10

Traveling Realities

We had big plans yesterday for touring but instead our bodies told us we needed to take it easy.  Jetlag has been an issue...waking up at 2am and unable to go back to sleep...making ourselves stay awake until 7pm..it's kind of hilarious.  

We did get out and walk around the city and visited a few gardens.  It was a beautiful day and we really enjoyed just soaking up the sunshine.  

Everyone here smokes.  I think the streets smell like cigarette smoke and it is impossible to avoid it as you walk around, so that's different.  Also, we've been without a guide all weekend since we came in early and it's been a little challenging.  We are definitely first time world travelers!  Google translate is wonderful if you can get on wifi!

We ate at a German restaurant yesterday.  Yummy potato noodles, meatballs and veggies.  It was delicious, but I've been having some tummy issues since then so I'll be keeping it bland today.

We are so grateful for the chance to experience a bit of China and take in Zachary's culture.  It is beautiful, all these people whom Jesus loves.  What a privilege to be here.  

Overall we are having fun and are ready to get Zachary.  One more day to go!!  We do paperwork in the morning and then meet him at 3pm at the Civil Affairs office. (It'll be 3am on Sunday for y'all so when you wake up Mon morning we should have him!)

Traveling to China

We officially made it to China yesterday at 3pm!  What a journey it has already been, we are so thankful to be here.  Praise God for keeping us healthy as we prepared to travel and for landing safely in Guangzhou.  

We got up early on Wed morning and woke the kids so they could come to the Airport with us. They were excited about seeing planes and coming with us, so that took a bit of the edge off of our goodbyes.  I tried to stay strong for them and give lots of hugs and kisses- but once they walked around the corner I pretty much lost it.  It is so hard to leave them...we already miss them so very much...thankful for amazing family to take care of them until we come home!

So the flying was an adventure :). I'm not a huge fan of air travel anyway...so take this with a grain of salt...but that flight was LONG.  Like 'I wasn't sure if we would ever make it to China because we've been on this plane our entire lives' long.  Still, we were incredibly thankful to be on it because we nearly missed it!  Our conmecting flight to JFK was delayed for over 1.5 hours due to "fuse and engine problems".  That was not inspiring confidence in us, lol.  They had to call maintenance to come fix the issue and run tests, but thankfully we didn't need a new plane, so we were able to leave and they flew fast to make up for it.  

We landed with over an hour to make our next flight, but ran into more issues.  Our flight was is a different terminal and no one could tell us how to get there.  We wasted 30 mins while the help desk tried to convince us that China Southern didn't fly out of JFK...uh yes they do! Basically- we had to exit the airport, take an air train to the new terminal, check in with our international flight, go BACK through security, and get to our departing gate.

When we finally made it to check in we were informed that we were the last two people on the plane and our seats weren't together.  Thankfully, someone was moved and we did get to sit with eachother.  We also were personally escorted through security to our gate by a China southern employee since we were cutting it so close.  I'm not sure if we would have made it if they hadn't let us cut lines.

We got to the gate just in time to board and take off for China!  We had a nice tailwind so the flight took 16 hours- we got maybe 1 hour of sleep, watched three movies, talked, walked the aisles, and ate three meals of fried rice and chicken.  It was actually a very nice flight- just long and uncomfortable in those cramped seats.  It was also our first experience being the minority as everyone on the plane was Chinese and only a few flight attendants understood English.  We got to practice a bit of our limited mandarin and lots of gestures :)

When we landed we went through health security (temperature check), immigration, and customs.  Then we met our guide and driver who took us to our hotel- which was 5 miles away but took over an hour to reach in the city traffic!  Driving is crazy y'all...honking, swerving, slamming on breaks...quite an experience.

The hotel is gorgeous...comfy beds, cool A/C, amazing breakfast buffet.  

Today we shop for personal items and explore the city.  Tomorrow we meet up with the rest of the families flying in.  Sunday is paperwork day and then Monday we get Zachary!!!

I'll share more later.  Jet lag is hitting and off to sleep we go!

All Sons & Daughters - Spirit Speaks

We're listening to this on repeat.  Love!

Single Digits

We leave in less than a week!  I can't believe that we are about to fly to China to adopt our son.  I think back to a year ago, that late October day when we saw Zachary's face for the first time, and can't begin to fathom all that has happened to get us to this point.

And while I can hardly wait to throw my arms around our son, I am also hesitant and nervous.  I'm not quite ready to embrace the reality of his medical needs- not sure at all how that is going to play out.  Not sure if I can be enough for him. If there is enough of me to handle this.

And of course there is not- that's the whole point!  Time and time again God has shown us that in our weakness he will make us strong.  When we are out of our own resources, he shows up and carries us to the finish line.  He makes all the difference in this life- and He will make all the difference in Zachary's.

Here are some specific ways you can pray for us:

1. That we would be healthy for the trip (our family is still passing around various sickness).

2. That our flight would go smoothly, we would stay sane for the 17 hour flight and get some sleep, and land safely in China.  I pretty much hate flying.  I have some decent anxiety about this but have been giving it over to God. After the misery that was a flight to Hawaii, I swore I would never, ever fly anywhere that took more than 6 hour on a plane.  Well...obviously God has other, better plans!

3. That meeting Zachary would be as peaceful and calm as possible.  Zachary will be leaving everything he knows and taken by strangers (us).  This is traumatic and shocking.  Pray for him and for our attachment as a family!

4. For Zachary's health in China.  That he would get over any orphanage related illnesses and also be seizure free for our flight home.

5. That all our travel documents in China would be processed smoothly so we can leave for the US on time- our flight schedule is tight.

6.  For our children at home and the grandparents who are taking care of them.  Asher is so sad we are leaving, and Laurel will not understand.  Please pray for their hearts, their safety, and for comfort until we return home.  Also for this Mommy's heart as I can hardly bear to leave them :(

7.  For our flight home- that Zachary would sleep!  That he would be a good traveler and not scared to death.  That he would have peace.

8.  That our eyes would be open to the opportunity to share the Gospel.  We have a heart for China and missions, I look forward to how God willl speak to our hearts as we literally see the other side of the world.

Thank you for your prayers!  We are so grateful to everyone for your love and support of our family as we take on this huge God sized calling.  We are anxious and exited and nervous.  But above all, we are hopeful.  Hopeful for the future as we joyfully add to our family, and hopeful for Zachary.  This little boy who has lived almost 4 years without a family, will now have a place to call home.  

Finished Puzzle

Our finished puzzle has been sitting on a desk for months as I "looked for a frame"(bemoaned the fact that I couldn't find the right frame that would show both sides of an awkwardly shaped puzzle while in reality I was so consumed with every other part of this adoption process that I had no time or energy to actually look for one).

But alas, the paperwork is done.  All we have to do is get the house immaculate, survive preschool sickness overload, search and pay for the perfect international flight, pack a million items to support 2 adults, 1 child, and multiple orphanages, and somehow remain calm.

So I was able to search for the perfect frame and lo and behold,  I found what I was looking for at Jo Anne's for under $10 with a coupon.  Win!

Thank you to everyone who donated a puzzle piece, gave items for the yardsale, or donated funds to our yardsale.  All the yellow stars are for people who donated anonymously or paid for more puzzle pieces than people they indicated in their family.

This puzzle represents family, friends, and strangers. 

Thank you.

It's going up in Asher and Zachary's bedroom.  In just a few shorts weeks our new son will be sleeping in there too ❤️.

Praise God!

It is Well

Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see
And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name 

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul

TA!!

We got TA yesterday and a confirmed consulate appt- we'll be leaving in a few weeks for China!

So excited!  Thank you Lord for bringing us this far!

Please pray that we can find the right flight- there are not a lot of options since it is so close and we're traveling during an international trade fair.

Also, our family has been sick non stop for the past month.  These last 2 weeks have been rough. It is one thing after another and we are just getting tired of it. Please pray for for our health and that we all would get back to normal and be 100% healthy as we head to China.

Can't wait to hop on that plane and meet Zachary!

Call Me!

I never made it to either of my due dates.  Asher was born 6 weeks early and Laurel came 3 weeks early after nearly two months of bed rest.

I remember the surprise of learning I was in labor with Asher, way too early.

I remember the feeling of laying in bed for weeks, praying that I could keep Laurel safe inside for another day.

Each situation that brought our children into the world had its own mixture of anxiety and anticipation.  Which is exactly where I find myself right now.

Waiting.  With anxiety and anticipation.  Knowing that the call could come at any moment that will set the rest of our lives into motion.

It is so hard to wait!  I feel like I'm on pins and needles, jumping every time the phone rings and it is not the call.  Ugh.  I'm checking my emails a hundred times a day.  Feeling a little insane over here, lol.

A watched phone never rings.

But please phone, please ring soon and tell us when we can come get Zachary.  

All Approved

Our Article 5 was picked up in China today.  The final stamp of approval has been given to indicate that all of our adoption paperwork and all of Zachary's paperwork is in order.

We are officially waiting for THE CALL.

The last batch of travel approvals took about 2 weeks- so in 14 days we should get the official invitation to come to China and get Zachary!

We are hoping to travel in exactly one month.  That is the first available travel date due to a super long National Chinese holiday coming up right as we anticipate getting travel approval.

The reality that we are so close fills me with a mixture of elation and anxiety.  Please pray for us- so much is about to happen- and soon.

We'll let you know when the call comes :)

Sliding into Fall

We love this time of year at our house.

The air starts to get that little bit of crispness, football occupies Saturdays, preschool begins and the kids start talking about Halloween costumes, pumpkin patches, and getting the Christmas tree.  
We just love all the holiday traditions and the fall season.  This year we hope to introduce Zachary to many family favorites!

Our article 5 is scheduled to be picked up the second week of September.  Because of Labor Day and a Chinese Holiday, our article 5 process will take almost 3 weeks instead of 14 days.  That is truly a bummer, but it is what it is.  

So, the second week of Sept. we will officially be waiting for travel approval.  THE CALL has been taking about 8-16 days right now for waiting families, so we should truly know in 2-3 weeks when we'll be leaving for China!

We are so so so excited.  It's all we are talking about.  Josh and I have nightly discussions about how best to pack our luggage, what we need to bring, and how to prepare for various scenarios.

We know all the flights into every major chinese airport and their arrival times and costs.

We are ready to go get our son.

Despite the holidays, there is still a good chance we will be going in mid October.  Things are getting booked up, so we'll wait and see what is available.  Please keep praying!  Truly want to be home before November, but we trust God's timing and rest in the fact that he knows exactly how it will all play out.

Abba

"Oh, to know God as Father…what a privilege! Just let it soak in for a minute. God. Your Father. Let this thought, this reality, this pleasure prompt and control you! And to know that this is possible because He has adopted you. Christian, He planned to adopt you, He pursued after you, and He has paid the price for you to become His child." - David Platt

Sweet "Zachy"

Look what arrived in our email yesterday.

Isn't he so cute?  Look at him standing!

It was a total surprise, but our agency asked for an update when our Article 5 was dropped off.  They didn't tell us, but surprised us with these 2 new pictures and updated measurements.

According to his measurements he is technically in 24m or maybe 2T clothing. He is 3.5 and weighs less and is also shorter than Laurel.

The subject line of the email said: here is your FINAL update.

Final one, guys.  Because the next time we see him we will be holding him in our arms!

We love you sweet Zachary, keep smiling, we're coming soon.

Nesting

I am officially nesting.

The house can not be clean enough.  There is SO much to do!  Our two children make it impossible for things to be orderly, but I have a compulsion to make sure that we come home to a clean house with Zachary, because...

The jet lag will be killer.  Two to three weeks until we are normal again is what everyone says.

It will be chaotic.  Introducing a new child into our family is one thing.  Bringing one home who is 3.5 years old, can't speak our language, has never seen a house, has no idea what a family is, doesn't eat our food, and has medical issues and appointments...well you get the idea, pure chaos.

So I have a drive to get everything in place to try and prepare for the difficult transition home that is ahead of us.

- clean, organized house

-meal prep/saving up gift cards so we don't have to worry too much about cooking

- setting up insurance/medical appointments

- reading all we can about attachment and parenting children from "hard places"

- talking to Asher and Laurel a lot, and prepping them for us being gone for 2 weeks :( :(

After we get our TA (maybe 3-4ish weeks from now) it will be full on packing, flight/hotel booking, securing the plans for the kids here in the US, panic mode!!  So this is our lull time to get things set up for success.

So far we have:

- bought bunk beds and bedding on craiglist for a steal!

- found our pediatric neurologist, opthamologist, and general pediatrician who specializes in internationally adoptioned children

- prayed, prayed, and prayed for attachment and open hearts, low expectations, and strength for the reality of Zachary's health and emotional state

- been researching how to use donated frequent flyer miles

- cleaned and organized the attic

Each day brings us closer and we are buzzing with excitement.  Come on Article 5 and Travel Approval- we are ready to book some flights!

More Abundantly

I've tried to write this post for many weeks now and could never find the right words to express our gratitude and awe. But here goes. I want to get it out there because the news is just too great to not share. Our God deserves all the praise and glory for his abundant love and provision.

We are fully funded. 

We are fully funded!!

Every penny of the $32,000 that we needed to fund Zachary's adoption has been provided.  It blows us away and we cannot even begin to describe how thankful we are.

When we started this journey over a year ago, finances loomed in front of us in such a way that we had no idea how this adoption would be paid for.

We sold our van.  We stopped going out to eat except for on special occasions and usually with gift cards or coupons earned through surveys I take at home. We have seriously bought practically nothing except food, gas, birthday/christmas presents, and a few essentials for Zachary (at sale prices and significantly reduced!). It's been a test, and we've saved quite a bit, but not nearly enough to begin to scale the mountain of finances that this adoption required.

So we asked God to move the mountain.

When we committed to Zachary back in November of last year, we got on our knees and asked God to move the mountain of finances if he wanted us to do this.  

And our God, who is able to do anundanty more than we could ever ask or imagine, did.

God moved those mountains- he threw them into the sea and said nothing is impossible for him!  Silly to doubt it now... that the God of the universe, who supplies all our needs according to his riches, could take care of a few tens of thousands of dollars...just a drop in his bucket.

People gave.  Our friends and families emptied their pockets and gave sacrificially, out of love.  It was so extravagant it brought us to our knees.  I want you to know that we don't take this for granted.  Josh and I have praised and thanked God, through tears of gratefulness, for the extravagance of your giving and love.

Some amounts were so large it was pretty much incomprehensible.

Some amounts were given from hearts and pockets that were already struggling and nearly empty.

Some were provided by complete strangers.

Some items were generously donated and provided when we needed them most.

All were given out of love for our family, for our sweet son in China who desperately needs his family, and for a God who is good and faithful and holy.

Thank you.  We are thankful for every one of you.

Our yard sale was incredible.  Such hard work, but we've never felt more loved by our church and friends. God's hand was clearly guiding it, and we raised an incredible amount of money that helped us get closer to our goal.

Our family matched our Lifesong grant before I could even ask people to help give.

And then the news that Foundation and (Steven Curtis Chapman's organization) were blessing us with adoption assistance grants.  In total, all of these grants combined to over $13,000.  We can never thank these organizations enough.  Their heart for orphans has changed our lives and Zachary's life.

Incredible God, you have blown us away every step of this journey.  Thank you, thank you for your provision.

We are fully funded guys!  All of our agency, government, and travel expenses are covered.  We are even going to be traveling during Trade Fair- the most expensive time for travel and hotels in China (~2,-3k more expensive), and we think we will have just enough to cover it all.  We'll know for sure in 3-4 weeks when we hopefully have travel approval!!

So, this is our fantastic news.  We want to say thank you for all your financial and prayer support.  We are completely humbled and honored to be stewards of your gifts to us, and we can't wait to bring this little boy home.

Please, if you've ever considered adoption, felt the tug of the Holy Spirit on your heart for the life of an orphan or child in foster care, take a step forward.  The finances will not stop you.  God is bigger!  I hope our story is a testimony to the unfailing love and resources of God.  Trust in Him and ask him to move mountains.

Guz-zerriffic Day!

Got our guz# and RTF!!  The 260 is done!  Our article 5 is on the way to China.  Please pray that it can be dropped off tomorrow.  There is a bit of a time crunch and if we don't make it our drop off will be pushed back until next week. So, if you get a chance, say a quick prayer that it can be taken tomorrow morning!

It will take two weeks or so for this to get processed properly and picked back up. Once article 5 is picked up it will be sent to the China Adoption Center to be processed.

Then we wait for travel approval!!!  

So here is where we are:

- 2 weeks for Article 5

- 2 to 3 weeks for Travel Approval

- Off to China! (But because of the holidays we will most likely have to wait 2-4 weeks after TA to get a consulate appointment and be able leave.  Pray for an early consulate appointment to be available to us.)

Thank you for praying for us, lots going on right now and we so appreciate your love and prayers!  A friend told me that once they started the adoption process it was like spiritual warfare- Satan started attacking!  We've seen similar things in our journey, things just keep coming, but our God is for us.  He is for adoption and Zachary and he is paving the way.  Thank you Lord for guiding each step of this journey.  Continue to surround us with your prayers for protection and strength as we prepare to fly to China and our lives change in such a huge way.  

Travel Visas

Josh and I just overnighted our visa applications to the Chinese consulate requesting permission to travel to China in the next 60 days - Ahhhh!

So while Zachary's visa paperwork to come to the US is getting processed, we are also waiting to get our Chinese travel Visas.  We should have them back in about 2 weeks- and hopefully Zachary will have his in about 3 weeks.

After that we're just waiting for the call to come get him and schedule our travel dates.  I can already hardly sleep at night because of the anticipation/nesting that is starting to occur- don't know how we will survive the 2-4 weeks it will take to get that call.  We are praying to get travel approval before the Chinese National Holiday that lasts an entire week (oct 1-7).  This will ensure that we travel in Oct. and not Nov.

Here's a peek at our adoption paperwork binder.  This is just half of what we've filled out- the other half is at our agency and government offices around the world ;)   

So close, it hardly seems real!

The final stretch

We found out on Monday that our 800 petition for Zachary's visa was approved! This means that the US has assigned him as our immediate relative and he can officially request a visa to enter our country. So exciting!

The next steps are kind of confusing and only adoptive families probably care what they're called or even understand them.  But I'll still try to explain ;)

1.  We are waiting for something called a guz# and RTF, which means Zachary's visa approval has been forwarded to the US consulate in Guangzhou, China, where all adoptions are finalized.  Once this happens we move on to the next step..

2. We fill out our 260 form with our guz#  and send it to our agency, who forwards it to their contact in china.

3. Our contact in China puts our 260 with the rest of our waiting paperwork (LOA, ect) which officially becomes our Article 5

4. The article 5 is dropped off at the consulate in Guangzhou to be officially reviewed and stamped/signed.  This takes exactly 10 business days and is the final step required by the US to prove that we are allowed to request a visa for Zachary.

5. The article 5 is picked up after 10 days and sent to the China center for Adoptions to await travel approval.  This can take 1-4 weeks.  Once approved they will send our TA (travel approval) to our agency and we are officially invited to come get Zachary!

6. When we get TA we have to call the US Consulate in Guangzhou to set up an appointment for our final interview to get Zachary's visa.  This CA (consulate appointment) determines when we can travel.

7. We get our official CA date and book flights for about 10 days before that date.  (During those 10 days in China we will do a lot of paperwork and have our "gotcha day", the day we get Zachary in our arms.)

8. Leave for China! Praise!

If you read through all that, bless you.  Anyway, we are 8 weeks out from meeting our boy.  Thanks for your prayers!

Anticipation

Just like the third trimesters of my pregnancies were the most awkward and uncomfortable periods, I feel like I'm lacking grace in this "third trimester" of our adoption. 

I'm just ready for it to be over, honestly.  I'm ready to travel to China, meet our sweet Zachary, and get on with all the craziness, joy, and change that will occur.  

I'm also kind of over the paperwork.  As I sit here filling out pages and pages of visa applications, I really can't believe how much paperwork we've done.  It's incredible all that goes into two governments giving you permission to adopt a child.  

This process has been no walk in the park, but then again, I am overwhelmed with how God has met us in every circumstance and moved mountains for this adoption to occur.  He is faithful and every word of promise is true.  What an amazing God we serve...there is no one like Him!!

Right now we are waiting to hear if the US will approve our request for an immigrant visa for Zachary.  We should probably know within a week or two...please pray that this paperwork is processed without delay and with a positive outcome.

Once we receive our approval it will be sent to the consulate in China to get their stamp of approval.

Then we wait for travel approval!!

It is looking like a mid Ocober travel date might be possible.   We know that God will allow us to travel at the exact right time...but it would be pretty cool if we could get back in time for Halloween like Asher's been hoping.  As Christians it seems silly to want to be back for a secular holiday...but there is something wonderfully sweet about the anticipation of seeing all three of our children together, dressed up in costumes, and Zachary experiencing the love of a family and siblings in such a fun and silly way.

But if not Halloween, then Thanksgiving and Christmas and all the days in between for the rest of his life.  He will have a forever family, what a blessing for us!

LOA!!!!!

Yesterday, on day 78, our LOA arrived!  This is our official approval from China to adopt Zachary.  Praise The Lord, this is big news!!

FedEx arrived with our original copy to sign and overnight back to our agency.

We had to check the box that we accept Zachary.  Absolutely!

Now it is on its way to the Us Government so that we can officially request to bring Zachary into the US as a citizen.  We're about 10 weeks away from flying to China and meeting our boy!

Thank you for your prayers and support. Please pray that all goes smoothly and the visa system will be fixed.  Pray for our hearts to be patient and peaceful as we prepare for the changes ahead and for all that needs to be done to get ready to travel.

Pray that The Lord would prepare Zachary's heart to meet us and that he would grow us together as a family.

Another big step closer- we can see the light at the end of the tunnel now!

Busy Celebrating

We've had two birthdays in our family this past week- our little Laurel turned 2 and Josh climbed higher into the 30s, so we've been busy celebrating!

Laurel had an ice cream themed birthday party and we had so much fun with family and friends.  Then we were able to spend time with our families over the weekend and Josh got a delicious lunch out, a yummy Mexican feast and cupcakes, and a traditional roast beast dinner with apple pie.  Plus we got a special date night out to celebrate so that was fun!

Josh said he wanted to learn how to make my Grammy's amazing apple pie for his birthday.  So he went over and Grammy (in town from Indiana) taught him how to make the best pie crust ever.  He will be making us a pie soon I hope :). Also, Mom knew he was worried about getting stuff stolen by pickpockets in China, so she got him these special shorts with hidden pockets and zippers that he can carry stuff in.  So cool.

Laurel got a dress up bin from Grandpap and Granleigh, the kids are obsessed with it.  We've been changing outfits a lot and they love it.  Also, it's just been great to be busy to help pass these days waiting for LOA.  It's day 77...Lord please get that precious piece of paper here soon!

Last week the entire computer system that processes Visas for all the US consulates in the world shut down.  Some glitch has made all consulates unable to print visas, so many adoptive families are stuck in China.  Also, this could potentially slow down the next step of our process after LOA, as we will be applying for visas.  Word is that it should be operational soon, so we continue to pray for these families and those in process.

All in all, we are waiting to get to the top of the mountain.  After loa comes we will basically be rushing downhill!  China feels so close and yet so far away.  More to share soon....

Moved

My heart is overflowing with so much information to share.  So much!!!  We've been busy lately, and honestly I just haven't had a desire to share things on this blog.  I'm reminded of when Mary was visited by the Angel Gabriel and scripture says she "treasured these things and pondered them in her heart".

I feel like that is exactly what I've been doing.  What has been happening in our lives in relation to this adoption is so precious. Like life giving water, the Holy Spirit has quenched our thirst and satisfied our souls every step of the way.

This journey is hard.  It is hard now and it will be hard when the rubber meets the road and Zachary is home with us- as we all are adjusting, attaching, grieving, learning to live as a family.

You cannot understand it unless you've done it.  But praise the Lord for people in our lives who have tried to!  The sweet people who ask what day of the LOA wait we are on. Who acknowledge the joy and pain of waiting by actually talking to us about our adoption!  Who try to understand how different it is to know that your child is not safe in your womb, but across the world, sick and lonely and not ok.  Zachary is not ok over there.  He is surviving, but he is not thriving.  And that makes everything about this hard. 

But God carries us every single day, and it is precious to walk with him.  It truly is.  Oh had we not done this how we would have missed so much our Heavenly Father is trying to teach us.  Already, so much growing and stretching and trusting.  

My heart is so full I can't even put into words all that I need to share.  So I'm going to break it up into different posts over the next few days and maybe then I can gather my thoughts.

Please, if you have ever considered adoption...consider it more.  This process will change you.  God will meet you and hold you and shape you in ways you hadn't realized were possible.  He will grow His heart in you- and it makes you crazy and wild and in love with things that don't matter to this world.  He gives your faith a backbone and your life a fearless bravery that can only come supernaturally. 

So many children need families.  Need Jesus.  This life is short.  I dare you to move.

"And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them." - Isaiah 42:16

Crazy

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind!" - Gnarls Barkley

A fellow adoptive parent waiting for LOA shared this song recently as an example of how they were feeling.  Now it is stuck in my head and I'm right there feeling craaaazzzzy too.

We are officially going to hit 70+ days waiting for our LOA.  Monday will be day 70 and then we still have to wait to be officially reviewed and then have the hard LOA mailed to us.  That means at least another 2 weeks.  Which means 80+ days waiting for LOA best case scenario.  Ugh.

Never actually thought we would be waiting so long!

The days here are a little bit crazy.  We ride a daily roller coaster of hopeful anticipation and disappointment.  We are just sitting around and waiting, waiting, waiting.  As soon as we get LOA there will be a flurry of activity to get us ready to fly to China.

Until then, pray for us!  We are so ready to go.  We are ready to see our little boy and hold him in our arms.  To see his face and truly know him.  

The longing is overwhelming, but we know God's mercies are new every morning.  Please pray our LOA comes soon!

Day 64

Tick. Tock.

Day 57

Still waiting...come on LOA!

Laughing Boy

Our 4th ofJuly beach weekend was upended by Hurricane Arthur, but our spirits were high as we received a wonderful update on Zachary from the medical team who just visited his orphanage last week.

He is happy.  

He is able to take steps while holding someone's hands. 

He loves toys that light up and make music.

He likes to eat sweet things.
He'll fit in just fine :)

Next Fourth of July, Zachary will be able to experience the beach for the first time as an American citizen.  What a change he will experience in his short little life.  We can't wait to see what God has in store for him.

Come On Zachary!

Here is a hot summer week in the life of the Browns as we wait for Zachary...we're ready for you buddy, and we are coming soon!

We go to the pool and splash around. Asher has a turtle floaty, Laurel has a zebra...what animal floaty would you like?

Your meimei Laurel does some work installing a new swing for you on our swing set with Daddy.

We sit on planes and pretend to fly to China...Daddy pulls us across the "ocean".

Your gege Asher keeps things running smoothly as a cowboy air traffic controller.

Gege and meimei help do the dishes, and spill lots of water which is half the fun!

We practice our letters and numbers.

Asher and Laurel get ready for bed and wonder aloud, "we'll need to squeeze in Zachy too...maybe by our feet."

We do a little karaoke/praise and worship.

Asher beats me at Candyland 5 times in a row- don't worry, you'll have your chance soon. 

And we think of you and pray for you nearly every minute.  We've got lots of love waiting right here for you!  Mama and Baba can't wait to meet you.

Our Hero God

I read this quote the other day:

"God uses screwed up people.  I'm not a hero, God is a hero."

Amen!

Sometimes people seem to think that our family is extraordinary or there must be something especially heroic about us.  (Our friends and family are free to laugh at that thought, lol!). They tell us that we are amazing or that it takes a special person to do this.   I know adopting a child with special needs is not on everyone's radar, but honestly there is nothing special or particularly heroic about us.  People have to deal with hard things all the time, that is just part of life.  Perhaps it is because we are in a sense "choosing" this hard thing that makes it seem somewhat strange to others.  

Just like the quote above said, we are normal, messed up people who have a heroic God.  It is only because of him that we have strength and joy and hope throughout this process.  This is our crazy normal :)

God is the one who rescues.  He is the hero in this.  We are completely useless without him, praise God that he still chooses to use us!  Zachary has a hope and future because of Jesus, not us.  We are the ones He is changing through this process.  I hope our journey to and with Zachary points people not to us, but to Christ.

We are not heros.  We are so very limited in our own strength.  We are all too easily overcome by fear and worry as we wait to bring Zachary home.  But we serve a God whose grace is made perfect in our weaknesses.  Thank goodness, because we sure have plenty!  I'm just thankful we were still enough to listen when he asked us to move.  

I think of all the people God used in the Bible who were not super special.  Ordinary people, with hurts, hang ups, and problems.  But it is amazing what God can do with faith even the size of a mustard seed.  Isn't it fantastic that God measures us by his grace, and not what we bring to the table?  He is the extraordinary that shines in the ordinary.

Ps.  Day 43

See

Saw this video (click the words) today through another adoptive parent.  It broke my heart on so many levels- for the children being orphaned, the parents who desperately feel this is their only choice, for a country so broken. 

This world needs Jesus.

There are so many hurting people.  Adoption, orphan care, and China are things that God has put on our family's heart at this time.  Children desperately need families for so many reasons.  But there are broken people everywhere who have never heard the name of Jesus.  

Does this burden us?  Does it bother us that halfway around the world people are abandoning babies on the side of the road because they have no way to support or care for them?  Does it bother us that crime rates in most cities in America are sky rocketing, in large part to the absence of parents, specifically father figures, to lead families?  Does it bother us that right now in the Middle East Christians are dying gruesome deaths at the hands of extremists?  Does it bother us that NC is one of the top 8 states for human trafficking? Or that our neighbor/coworker has never once been invited to church?  Not just make us uncomfortable or thankful it's not us, but does it burden us to move and be the hands and feet of Christ to these people?

If it doesn't, it should.

Because it bothers our God.

I'll be the first to admit that I have walked around as a Christian, completely blinded to the needs of those around me.  I felt no burden, and on some level believed the Christian life was about being as comfortable and happy as possible.  Get a great job, find the right spouse, have kids and keep climbing up that ladder towards the American Dream.  All my prayers seemed to focus on me- on health, wealth, and success for me and my friends/family.

But one day the Holy Spirit dropped the scales from my eyes.  And gave me a desire to love what God loves and to be broken for the things that break God's heart.  Instead of prayers for safety I prayed to be burdened. Like the Hillsong lyrics:

"Break my heart for what breaks yours.  Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause." 

And suddenly it was as if I could finally see.  And I began to understand what Jesus meant when he said his yoke is easy and his burden is light.  Because we should be bothered by a world that is broken, that doesn't know Jesus.  That is heavy.  But we don't have to carry it alone...he puts his love in us and carries our broken bodies every step of the way.  We fail, but he doesn't.  He gives all we ever need to take each step of obedience and share the Gospel with a hurting world.  He makes joy out of the suffering, for His glory. 

Lord, open our eyes!

I want those people dropping off babies in China to know a God who offers mercy, forgiveness and grace.

I long for those abandoned babies to know they are fearfully and wonderfully made. That the God who loves and created them has a plan to redeem their lives.

I want a broken world to know Jesus.  The news is too good to keep to ourselves.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see."  

Puzzle Done!

Thank you to everyone who has helped.  With the generous donations from the yard sale and our matching grant we were able to complete all the pieces.  Now Asher is asking if we can add rockets, planets and spaceships to his room in addition to his world travel/transportation decor so it will have "new stuff" for Zachary :) More pictures of the finished puzzle to come when we hang it in their room!

~Putting in the last piece of Zachary's puzzle~

Day 33

Day 33 of our LOA wait.  Eight months since we started this journey but something about this wait to hear from China feels the longest. It's kind of like there is a hole in our family that feels empty without Zachary.  We think about him all the time and wonder what he is doing.  This morning was one of those times when I just had an overwhelming desire to have him home.

 Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be strong and enduring. -Psalm 27:14 

What's Going On

It's been a nice week of relative quiet as we've rested from the past month of yard sale madness.  Time spent in quiet time refocusing with Jesus, time spent at parks just enjoying summer with the kids, and time spent as a couple doing our favorite things together.  So here's a quick adoption update:

• Our dossier is OOT (out of translation) and currently being reviewed in China.  Hoping for our LOA by the end of July, but it could take longer.  If we do get it in July we might travel in Oct!  Asher has been praying Zachary can be Batman to his Green Lantern this Halloween, haha.

• We've joined up with an epilepsy support group in the area- lots of great advice, doctor recommendations, and hopefully, friends.

• Our agency worker just happens to be going to Zachary's orphanage this week (this is atypical and completely awesome).  She will be able to love on our boy and get more updates for us...can't wait!

• And the great news I mentioned earlier....we have been chosen to receive a $2,000 matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans through Family Christian Ministries!!  All monetary gifts sent to Lifesong will be matched up to $2,000, giving us $4,000 to apply directly to our fees.  Our goal date is July 23.  God is so  good and continues to provide for us in every way.  Thank you Lifesong, you have incredibly blessed us as we journey to our son.  Here is more info if you'd like to give:

Give by Check:
Please make checks payable to Lifesong for Orphans.
In the memo please note your gift preference with Family Account Number and Family Name.

(Brown #4497)

Please mail checks to:
Lifesong for Orphans PO Box 40
Gridley, IL 61744
Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all US administrative and fund-raising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to this adoption.   Click on the letter below to learn more.

CLICK TO ENLARGE:

Yard Sale Results

Our yard sale was this past Saturday and it was incredible.  We are so thankful.  God's hand was evident in so many different ways throughout the week leading up to the yard sale and again on Saturday.

• In the many family and friends who donated, sorted, priced and organized a ridiculous amount of stuff!  For hours and hours and hours all week long.  We were up at 3am on Saturday putting out signs and dragging a Sanctuary full of furniture and donated items out onto the lawn.  It was truly miraculous how it all came together.
• In the answered prayers for good weather, a large crowd, and lots of stuff sold (check, check, and check!)
• In the way I forgot to ask the youth to hand out fliers around the church- and a special volunteer showed up last minute and was able to take them to the Hispanic neighborhoods nearby, talking with families and getting them excited about our yard sale....and boy did the Hispanic community show up!
• In the numerous people who told us they came to our yard sale because they or their (daughter, brother, sister, grandchildren) were adopted and they wanted to support adoption.
• In the sweet girls who chose to spend a Saturday selling lemonade instead of playing or something more exciting, because they wanted to help bring Zachary home.
• In the couple who gave us more money than they bought in things, because they had been to China, had smuggled Bibles and worked in the orphanage dying rooms.  They wanted to encourage us in our adoption because they know exactly what the other side looks like.  They said we will forever be changed by this...and offered their friendship.
• In the many church family and friends who chose to come by just to show their support and offer their encouragement...what a joy you were to us!
• In the Chinese international student who goes to school at NCSU, saw our ad online and came by just to talk to Josh about China.  He was happy to let Josh speak Mandarin with him, and then told us he felt like the Holy Spirit wanted him to come and tell us to spread the Gospel while we are in China because so many don't know Jesus.
• In the beautiful people who came early to set up, who worked the yard sale, and stayed late to clean up.  The ones who dropped loads off at Dorcas and helped vacuum carpets and break down boxes.
• In the hundreds of people in the community we were able to meet and talk to about adoption, our church, and Jesus.

It was truly amazing.  I have never been more exhausted, it was more work than we could have ever imagined.  Our house was a storage unit for over a month.  We worked 10-12 hour days for more than a week to get everything ready.  There were moments when I worried that it would never get finished, that no one would come.  But again, God wove everything together in the way only He can.  His people and his church rallied around us and the result was astounding.

In total (with the yard sale and some furniture we sold online beforehand) we raised $4500.

We are completely in awe.  Josh said that God was just showing off!  He truly provided more than we could have ever hoped or imagined through this yard sale.  Not in just the large amount of money, but in the love of people and the confirmation of his will that we saw over and over again.  It feels extravagant.  And we are so thankful.

Thank you to everyone who prayed, donated, organized, lifted furniture, made food runs, watched our kids, and/or came out to support us.  We are so very grateful, and hope that you were also blessed in watching how God was at work.  One day we will tell Zachary the story of how he came to us- and this will surely be such a special chapter!

(This was last Saturday- one week made all the difference!)